Me vs. Family the Struggle for Power

I have been checking out other bloggers and have found some very interesting people. I was touched by a blog that read “Me vs. Family” I actually felt as if I had time traveled back to the days of my struggle for power over my own children. The family all pitching in to parent my child. This was and is a problem to me even now that they are grown because the stakes are higher. They mean well but it causes confusion in knowing who is the child’s chain of command. Every parent wants to mold their child to their standards. It is the parent’s responsibility to mold their child into a strong, educated and confident adult where a child once stood. Constant interference can be distracting to this duty. I didn’t handle the situation well at all; it caused quite a family fight. There were certain things I wanted to change as well from the old school ways.

My sister who didn’t have any children was of course the leading expert. We all insisted she have one of her own so she could get a reality check of parenting. She had her first child at the age of 42. She has a daughter and is an excellent doting mother. She gives her child so many presents at Christmas there isn’t any excitement on my niece’s face by the time she has finished investigating all that Santa brought her; it is entirely too much but I say nothing. I have to tell you when her daughter finds out there isn’t a Santa Claus she is going to be one upset little girl. My sister has gone to ridiculous lengths to keep up the lie of Santa Claus. She does this on the pretense of making it more exciting. Many of her friends are doing the same thing. There is website you pay to get a call from one of Santa’s elves so each year an elf calls my niece to bring up naughty and nice things my sister told them about, but I say nothing.

Unless I see the parent is perplexed about a situation I don’t jump in to assist this generation of children. I suggest that every new parent take their family members aside separately and ask them to respect the fact that if you are present you want to see after you child to please allow you to do so. Explain that your child needs to understand they answer to you first and foremost. If there is a group of people all telling them what to do or how to fix something it causes confusion instead. Remind them that you know they are doing it out of love but please in love be still. Let them know how important this is to you and hopefully no one walks away with hurt feelings. It may take some time to get them to change their behavior but I believe communication in advance of these situations is the key. Who knows they may even be glad you had that talk with them. Stranger things have happened.

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